Thursdays Thoughts: Need a Date For Valentine’s Day? Head to Best Buy.

I figured out it was a holiday sometime around the time I walked into the college today and saw notes plastered all over the walls and poles of the school with things like “Nicki S. Will You Be My Valentine?”

Then I go into my class and several girls hold up brand new engagement rings. I wanted to hold up my large rock that has become duller with time and say, “Enjoy it now girls ’cause in twelve years it’s going to look like THIS. Lot’s of dings and scratches and knicks but better today than twelve years ago.” But I didn’t. But it would’ve been nice to get someone to ‘ooooh’ and ‘aaaah’ over my dull gold band and pretty (big) diamond.

Some people think that I’m a Valentine’s hater. I prefer to say that I find the holiday comical. I also like to say that I like to help those who are less fortunate.

neon flower bouquet

For example, I went to Walmart this morning in an attempt to find candy hearts for my sons Valentine’s class party.  We ALL know what Walmart looks like the day of a holiday. Empty candy boxes, crushed packages of candy on the floor, and crowded aisles. I got a fresh whiff of someone’s armpit as they reached over me to grab the last bag of chocolates on the shelf. Not pretty. Of course, my toddler daughter was still in her footed monkey pajamas with crazy morning hair. I looked like I had just rolled out of bed. My ponytail was messy, I had no makeup on, and I had track pants and a sweatshirt on. I was no beauty queen. I got my candy hearts and headed to the checkout. On my way a man in his late twenties was picking out a half dead bouquet of flowers. It was one of those bright neon bouquets with the fake rainbow colored flowers that look like they’ve been spray painted because there is no way that flowers are actually are that color. Half of them were droopy and dead.

I stopped and asked who he was buying them for.

“My girlfriend,” he replied.

“Let me help you out. Those things look like they’re dead. If got those, you wouldn’t be my boyfriend anymore. Just suck it up and tell her you forgot to get her something. If she needs a gift that’s dead, she has issues.”

“Issues?”

“Dude, you buy her a gift now just for the sake of having to buy it because it’s Valentine’s Day, and you’re going to be buying her a gift the rest of your life. Your going to have years your poor, your going to have years that you’re doing good. Why waste your money on dead foliage? I’ve been married twelve years. My husband tried to get me flowers once. He spent $40. I gave him a list of the things he could’ve bought me instead of flowers–dinner out which would have been more appreciated, clothes I needed, shoes I wanted. All of those would’ve lasted a whole lot longer than flowers.”

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you.”

“I hear that a lot. Did I tell you I got married over Superbowl Sunday weekend?”

“Where are they hiding girls like you?”

chocolates on pillow

 

Honestly though, I do like getting gifts once in awhile, and I do like to make an effort to show those around me that I love them. Like tonight for instance. My husband is 800 miles away in Denver. I’ve been surrounded by the kids and the excitement of the holiday all day. Our house has been buzzing with Valentine’s festivities. It comes when you have kids. He will come home to an empty hotel room late tonight, probably unable to talk to the kids because he will have spent Valentine’s Day trying to find an uncrowded restaurant he can grab a bite to eat at. Finally he’ll realize that his options are Wendy’s or McDonald’s. He’ll come back to his unpersonable room to find that I’ve left him a message with some chocolates for him. He will NOT be expecting that, so for him it will be way more appreciated than had I felt forced to do something because it was Valentine’s Day.

boys playing video games

Last year, I spent last Valentine’s Day at Best Buy. My husband and I were hunting down replacement parts for one of his electronic gadgets that broke because he was leaving the next day for a business trip. Let me tell you single ladies: if you are looking for a date, head to Best Buy tonight. They are waiting for you in the video game section.

Your welcome.

Of course I was there laughing hysterically. So watch out for me.

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