Downhill to 40 Birthday + How to Lose 10 Pounds in 10 Days

I'm on the downhill to 40 and I understand now why the weight loss industry is as profitable as it is. Plus my tips for loosing 10 pounds in 10 days.

THERE ARE ONLY A FEW MORE WEEKS UNTIL VACATION AND MY SWIM SUITS DON'T FIT RIGHT.

Are you having this problem?

I've worked out same as I always do, am watching what I eat and that does not seem to be working like it has been in the past. The effectiveness of the "healthy eating and excercise" seems to be loosing it's luster.

So I cut calories and started to use MyFitnessPal to track what I was eating. I have seen very slow results but good results. Seriously what happened with my twenties where it was NOTHING to drop a few pounds. 

Today is my birthday and in honor of a slowing metabolism I'm perusing Amazon and Sprouts for weight loss and protein stuff. Seriously I think that the biggest population of people spending money on the weight loss industry have to be people who turn 35. After 35 it has been so rough and it's only going to get WORSE after 40 from what I hear. Did I tell you it's my birthday? I am FULL of sarcasm and good cheer today.

I'm also going to cash in and get my free water bottle from the judgment free zone. Anywhere you can save .99. Woot!! Does anyone still say that? I'm OLD!

And PS I already spent my birthday in the judgement free zone thank you. And I worked out my back because it's the only workout next to legs that I enjoy doing in the gym. The rest of my gym workouts are brutal torture so I spend my time silently judging everyone else to get through them. Like the PDA couple. They do awkward couples stretches in the back of the gym, hold hands at the cable machines while working at the cables one handed and kiss and hug after every rep set at the weight machine. When my boyfriend and I work out I am lovingly telling him I hate him as my shoulders about fall off during my rep sets. At the end of my brutal workout I lovingly swat him on the butt football style and tell him "good job. Good workout. Take me to the massage chairs STAT."

On the bright side I have been using these "Lose 10 pounds in 10 days" tips and they seem to be working better than anything. I'm already down .25 pounds in 24 hours! Only 9 more days to go!

1. Give up sweets. I am currently still working on this and think that it's terrible that this should be required during ice cream season. I'm currently perusing "low sugar low carb desserts" right now to get around this "give up sweets" crap but still allow me my nightly dessert fix.
2. Give up processed food. Done. But I also think it's terrible that I need to give this up during potato chip season. What will I eat on July 4th?
3. Eat More Protein: See above photo. A trip to Sprouts saved the day. Can you BELIEVE the amount of high protein foods they have out nowadays? I couldn't either so I bought it all to sample. PS the rice krispy treat was TERRIBLE!!
4. Work Out: Done, see birthday workout above. My body should take an extra pound off for the dedication I exerted with this mornings workout by dragging my tired, warm body out of bed to go to the gym on my birthday.
5. Drink More Water: Working on this but I've NEVER been good at drinking water. Tips on ways to drink more water would be appreciated.
6. Reduce Your Carb Intake: Make this temporary but reducing carbohydrates for a short amount of time can be beneficial. I'm 24 hours into it and my body is already itching for a giant doughnut. I'm worried about my sanity if I have to go 48 hours without carbs. I'm a carbaholic.
7. Get Enough Sleep; Easier said than done who wrote these stupid tips, me? See above, I TRIED this morning but the workout and birthday workout email got in the way.
8. Let Amazon Save the Day: My boyfriend started to search Amazon and is currently using the hot cream and belt when doing cardio to see if it helps him loose weight. He won't use them in front of me because I would start laughing hysterically and not be able to work out because I would be prone to falling down while running and cause injury to myself or others.
9. Green Tea: Apparently there is some rumor that green tea is full of antioxidants and great for flushing your system. I'm going to be super brave and overcome my fear of tea (it is SO gross to me, I've always hated it), plug my nose and down a cup. Or throw up. One of the two is going to happen but i think i'm going to try it. Next week. Maybe next week. Gotta gear up for this bravery thing.
10. Lemon and Water: Apparently there is some other rumor that drinking a glass of warm water with lemon in it first thing in the morning gets your metabolism and digestive system going in the morning. I've not heard ANYTHING like this but this one sounds the least expensive way to loose weight so I'm going to go with it and try it. It just sounds a lot like tea so I'm going to put if off until next week too.
11. This One's a Bonus tip. Getting older I'm also worried about aging so I say you can NEVER have enough sun protection.

That's his PSA for the day.

Also, don't forget you are AWESOME.

I... am speechless with this birthday card.

Celebrate my birthday with me and share a tip that's worked for you on loosing weight!