Ever traveled with diabetes?
I haven't. Not really anyway. The past month has been an eye opener to me. With my husband gone for almost a month, life has been fully of constant worry, stress and shuffling kids from one activity to the next by myself. Monday morning we would make the trek to the airport to drop my husband off curbside for an early flight. Friday afternoon after a long exhausting week, we'd pick him up from the airport and greet him with tired, happy smiles, only to repeat again on Monday morning.
For me, the week always brought plenty of worries in regards to my husband who has Type 1 diabetes. What if I don't get that morning text from my husband, letting me know he's okay? Can I remember the name of the hotel he's staying at? Do I remember his dosages if someone calls and says he's in the hospital? Does he have coworkers traveling with him, or is this a sales trip where he is traveling alone?
Sometimes I can't allow myself NOT to worry. It seems like every time I get complacent or feel that everything will be okay, something happens. It's hard to be reassured by my husband that everything will be okay when he's a thousand miles away and I can't be there to help him if he needs it. That he's alone. In a room. By himself.
One of the weeks he came home, dropped his bags on the floor and the next morning woke up sick. That night he asked if I would help him do blood sugar checks at night. I set my alarm for every two hours. After twelve years of marriage, we now have a system for the nights he needs me to step in and help. I usually take one check, and then make him take the next one. We mumble the number to each other, and a hurried "Go back to sleep, love you!" as our head hits the pillow and we wait for the next alarm to go off.
It was hard to send him off on Monday morning. I worried more that week than any other. Was he okay? Was he really feeling better, or just telling me he was so I wouldn't worry as much? When he got home that Friday night, I threw my arms around him and gave him a big hug. I love him so much and hope he knows how much I worry while he's traveling. I do it because I love him. I do it because I know that there have been times in our marriage that he has needed me to step in when there has been an emergency. I do it because I know how much HE worries about US when he is gone and how much harder he works to manage his diabetes while he travels so he can return home to us.