I can't believe that Easter is this weekend. I'm not ready. I'm never ready, but I'm really not ready this year. I did make these white chocolate chip carrot cake cookies in an effort to drum up some more excitement towards the holiday but so far I haven't gotten too excited and I just ate too many cookies.
That I then had to work off.
Not going to lie, today's run was gorgeous! It was post rain storm so it was beautiful. I love when the rain clings to the flowers and grass and when the rain starts to evaporate and everything smells wonderful. Spring is here!
I am not going to lie. I keep a lot (a lot) off here because a lot of the struggles we go through are very raw and very personal. I talked a lot about that the other day when I was teaching my college students. The online persona that we exhibit. If you were to go to my Instagram, you would see me one way. But we are actually many layers deep. And when you have gone through something very traumatic, your layers take a little longer to get through.
My ex has now been gone for six months. And it has brought a lot of raw emotions up for the kids lately. For my youngest, we've been working on anger. The middle one and oldest are moment by moment and day by day. I embrace those good days and tell them to embrace the suck on the bad days. We just muscle through.
My oldest got to go away for her choir trip this past week and I worried. The last trip in the fall was when she found out her father passed away. i think my anxiety was greater than hers this time and if she was saying hers was pretty rough than that's probably why I am absolutely exhausted this week. But I was so grateful that she went on tour to a place that she was surrounded by family and her extended family were just a few minutes away. My brother and sister in law drove their daughter over an hour each way to make sure the cousins got to hang out at Disneyland together for a day. The next night, my aunt and uncle were there to watch her school perform and for her to do her solo at her competition. The next day her friends surrounded her. My heart was so full knowing that at each stop the bus made and each place they visited from here to there, there was someone there for her.
While she was gone my son instituted a "no sing" weekend. He wanted NO singing. My oldest is ALWAYS singing. He also decided it was time to teach the youngest to get some game. Because her soccer game didn't go so well. I had all these hopes for my daughters to embrace my love of sports but you learn quickly that they fly their own path in life.
My youngest couldn't WAIT for soccer. She waited a WHOLE YEAR to start soccer, telling everyone how excited she was. She even accessorized her "Pink Kittens" team outfit. I thought to myself, 'I might have a girl in the family who loves sports as much as I did too growing up and now.'
But Saturday she came out of the game and laid down on me and said "I hope coach doesn't put me in again. I only did soccer for the treats. I didn't know it was this hard!" We had a good talk about committment and responsibility. And then I cried silently, watching my dream flush down the toilet.....
Later that day though I got another glimmer of hope as I caught this cute interaction between my son and daughter:
he was teaching her how to game, and now our girls got game! She was so happy that he trusted her with the computer system he's built. No one is allowed to touch his game area without his permission so this was HUGE!
She got good enough to set up in the living room and play against her brother in the kitchen:
So this week has been huge for her. She realized she's got game AND she's got her first pair of Vans. Gotta develop her beach loving water loving side while she is young. It's her heritage. (I'm convinced that one day my genetic family DNA test will show that I can only tolerate warmer beach climates). We were hanging out at Ross trying to find my son some football stuff he needed and she found these and I loved the price so she got them!
But now it's back to cookies. I am convinced that you need to try these white chocolate carrot cake cookies. I made a version for the kids and neighbors and one for myself. They were delicious with the substitutions I had to make for mine and the kids liked their version too!
PS Does anyone that's had to go gluten free struggle with corn? I've noticed being gluten free for over four years now that I've started struggling with corn. I had popcorn the other night and my stomach hurt so bad the next day. I had tortilla chips the other day and the next day my stomach hurt too. But I had a corn tortilla with my chicken taco last night and I was fine. I don't know. Any thoughts? It has been a few months where certain corn products have irritated my stomach. I haven't made any different recipes with the corn products--same old same old. Just curious if anyone else has some insight.
WHITE CHOCOLATE CARROT CAKE COOKIES
- 2 ½ cups flour (gluten free flour blend okay to substitute)
- 1 ½ cups sugar (we substituted in my batch 1 cup Swerve and ½ cup coconut sugar. You can try any sugar substitute)
- 1 tsp baking powder
- ½ tsp salt
- 2 tsp cinnamon
- ½ tsp nutmeg
- 1 tsp ginger
- ⅓ cup olive oil (we used melted Earth Balance for my batch--forgot to go to the store before I cooked my batch).
- 2 eggs
- 2 tsp vanilla
- ¼ cup crushed pineapple
- 1 large carrot, grated (approximately ⅓-1/2 cup)
- 1 cup white chocolate chips, or more as desired
preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.
In a mixing bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and spices until blended. In the center of the mixture, make a well and pour in the oil, vanilla, pineapple and eggs. Stir until blended well. Fold in the carrot and chocolate chips.
Drop batter by rounded tablespoons onto the cookie sheet, leaving several inches between cookies.
Bake for 10-12 minutes at 350 degrees. Remove cookies from oven when cooked through. Allow cookies to set up on cookie sheet for several minutes, then move cookies to cooling rack to finish cooling completely.
Recipe inspired by Maria's Mixing Bowl